Home
by Moosey Muffin
Summary: He had no way to describe her except as his muse, as corny as he thought that sounded. Pokeshipping/AAML


**A/N: This offers the back story to the idea I set forth in "Imbued" that Misty has Ash's old league hat. It's not necessary for you to read that beforehand, or at all, as there are no specific references that you'll miss (if my memory serves me right). Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this one shot!**

Home

Misty lay lazily strewn on the bleachers of her gym after a long day of feeding, training, and battling her water pokémon. Her arms and legs felt like lead after hours of rigorous preparation for the new trainers that would be passing by Cerulean Gym. _I thought at least one of them would have made it here by now,_ she thought while impatiently tapping her foot against the steel. Perhaps normally the thought of rookie trainers would not have excited her so much, but Professor Oak and Tracey had told her that a new batch of Pallet trainers were headed her way.

It was funny to her, in a way, that no matter how old she got (for she was now eighteen) she could never divorce her love of massacring those poor kids from Pallet Town. In her mind she knew it was senseless, but every one of them that walked through her doors reminded her of a certain boy and his Pikachu from long ago. They all seemed to be bred with this innate sense that _they_ would be the next Pokémon Master, and that any other reality was a strict impossibility. In truth it was a bit sadistic, but her rivalry with her best friend carried over to anyone who even remotely reminded her of him. Besides, it was not as if she was excessively cruel to them; she just brought a special perseverance to those battles that only a fierce (though inherently friendly) rivalry could endow.

Suddenly, a loud, resonating knock on the gym doors shook her from her thoughts, causing her to jump and fall over. "That kid is going to pay." She growled through gritted teeth, grimacing from the pain in her head; she quickly recovered herself and stomped angrily to the door. Swinging the door open as forcefully as she could, she made ready to give the challenger the lecture (and battle) of his or her life, but what she saw made her freeze instantly.

"Hiya Misty." The boy in the doorway shuffled his feet nervously as his hand shot behind his head. He already noticed he had startled her, and anxiously awaited her reply.

As anxious as he was for a reply, however, Misty was clearly at a loss for words. She merely stood there, jaw slightly agape in wonder of the boy. After a tense moment, "A-Ash?" was all that she could croak in a hoarse whisper.

"Yes?" His face brightened, believing her to have forgiven his intrusion.

"Why…" But before she could ask why he had come, she remembered the incident that had caused her to come to her doors in the first place. A scowl sprang upon her face, beginning in her furrowed brows and extending to her deepening frown. "Why do you think it's okay to barge in on me after so many years when I'm…I'm busy!" She gestured back to her gym in aggravation.

"Well…I just thought…" He desperately tried to stammer along, but no matter his efforts the right words never formed. This was not the reaction he'd expected.

"You haven't even called in over a year! I can hardly recognize you." This of course was a lie; she knew exactly who he was the moment she saw him. He was, however, immensely changed from the boy she remembered. His dark, messy hair had grown longer and wilder, throughout his body his bone structure and musculature had become more prominent, and she was intensely aware of the fact that she now had to look slightly _up_ at him.

He frowned. "Well I'm here now, aren't I? Isn't that what you wanted?" His face reflected his confusion and frustration. Ash simply could not understand why his friend was reacting so violently. _Maybe she didn't want me here in the first place. Dammit Tracey, if you were lying to me I'm going to shove that sketchbook right down your throat._

"How could you possibly know what I want, when you can't even take five minutes out of an entire year to call me, or write me a letter, or anything?" She could feel a lump forming in her throat, but tried her best to choke it down. There was no way she would let him see her cry.

She had a point, a very good point, but it was not as if he had deliberately neglected calling her. In fact, he thought of her quite often during his journeys, and never considered that might not be enough. He felt horrible for it now, thinking of how she was in the same town, in the same gym, doing virtually the same thing every day of her life. It had not previously occurred to him that while he was off having grand and unexpected adventures his best friend was trapped in monotony.

"Look, I'm sorry, Misty. I just got so caught up in training that I didn't really talk to anybody besides Brock and May."

She stared at him for a second, wracking her brain for the reason why he always knew the precisely wrong thing to say in these situations. _Yes, that's wonderful, Ash. Show up at my gym after all this time to tell me you haven't been keeping in touch because you spend all your time travelling and training with another girl._ She looked down at the floor to keep her creeping tears from his sight. "I guess I thought being 'best friends' meant something to you."

A shock of pain flashed across his face instantly. He was dumbstruck. "H-how could you even say something like that?" His voice cracked weakly as he looked sincerely into her ferocious eyes. "Of course it means something to me— it means a hell of a lot to me! That's why I'm here now! I'm sorry that you're mad, but I thought best friends were supposed to forgive each other for their mistakes, not scream at them when they come to visit! Didn't you even miss me at all?" His chest burned from the mixture of courage and fear, he could not imagine what he would do if she answered negatively.

"Of course I missed you, you idiot! Why do you think I've been acting like this?" Her once bristling shoulders slumped pitifully, and as her anger dissipated she withered like a flower drained of its moisture by the dry winter air. She looked up at him, tears beginning to pour over her obstinate eyes, and whispered, "I've missed you every day."

He looked at her solemnly, unsure of what he was about to do. With a sigh he knelt down beside her, putting one hand on her trembling shoulder, and using the other to pull a piece of fabric from the pocket of his jeans. "I've kept this safe with me ever since we parted." He admitted, pushing away his embarrassment in an attempt to console her. "When I get lonely or upset after I've lost a battle I take it out and remember that I've always got my best friend to cheer me on. This gift you gave me is part of the reason I came to see you today…I wanted you to have that same feeling." Ash took off his backpack and unzipped it, gingerly taking out his old league hat; he proffered it to the shaken girl in front of him.

Misty could only stare blankly at him at first. _When did Ash become so thoughtful? It's like he's changed completely. I must look like such a jerk…_ Her thoughts were interrupted by Ash's shaking voice, "Won't you take it?" The look on his face needled her heart. _I hadn't meant to cause him so much pain…I was just so frustrated. How was I supposed to know how much he really cared?_

Her reply came as a shock to him; she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and sniffled the almost inaudible words "Thank you so much, Ash" into his shoulder. Instinctively, he snaked one arm across her shoulders and lightly stroked her hair with his other hand. He allowed himself a relieved smile, leaning his head against hers. "For a moment there I thought you really hated me."

Misty jerked her head up slightly, unintentionally bumping Ash's out of the way and unfurled herself from his body. "I could never hate you. You're just a thoughtless jackass sometimes." She gave him a weak smile, gently pushing at his shoulder with her now free hand.

Ash gave a tentative laugh. "Well you can be a real gem, yourself."

After a slight chuckle, she looked at him seriously. "I am glad that you came, Ash."

"Trust me, Misty, I am too." He looked into her bright turquoise eyes, inexorably wreathed in a shade of crimson, smiling at him while tears still stained her delicate face. _She's more beautiful than ever._ He smiled in spite of himself, unable after such a flurry of emotion to fully recover his façade. _I can't let her know, not yet._ Ash knew now was not the time for a love confession, especially since after today he would have to leave her yet again in an attempt to achieve his goal of being Pokémon Master.

They sat on the pavement for what seemed like an eternity, each engrossed in the other's stare until Misty finally shook herself back to reality."Would you like to come inside?" Her question smote the air like gunfire after their prolonged silence, jolting Ash from his thoughts. "Sure, Misty."Misty smiled and sprang to her feet, extending one long, elegant hand to the still kneeling boy in front of her. He meekly accepted the hand, unwilling to disrupt their happiness by dismissing her help, and followed her inside the gym.

"This place looks a lot different then I remember." Ash marveled, looking around in wonder.

"Well, ever since I became the gym leader here, our ratio of wins to losses has improved dramatically. Because of that, the League sees us as more of an asset, so they gave us money for renovations." She explained, smirking slightly in self-satisfaction.

"That's great, Mist…" His praise trailed off as he became cognizant of the way her hand would gently brush his as they moved rhythmically together towards the gym's apartment. Every few seconds it would happen, and he would feel the warmth leap from his hand to his face. Each time he would look away, pretending to be very interested in a ceiling tile or water pokémon fresco, cursing himself for his weakness. _Why can't I hold myself together?_

Meanwhile, Misty was reeling for a different reason. The sudden use of her once favorite nickname had flooded her senses with emotion. She felt giddy and nervous and hated herself for it. _How can he still do this to me after all of this time? It's been years since he's called me that, and I still react like the twelve year old runt who trailed after him on his adventures. _She tried arduously to continue reciting information about the gym, but found herself unable to concentrate on anything but Ash.

When she woke from her daze she realized they had reached her family room, and Ash was standing awkwardly in front of her. She noticed him busily trying to find a point of interest on the wall opposite him, dreading to disturb her thoughts. Misty giggled softly at his absurd behavior, plopped herself on the couch to his left, and motioned him to sit beside her.

"There is a special on tonight about different battling strategies with one type pokémon teams that I really wanted to catch." She started nonchalantly, looking at her friend to gauge his reaction. "Lorelei is going to be a guest, so it should be really informative. Would you be interested in watching it with me?"

"Yeah, that sounds fine with me." He smiled convincingly at her, then his glance trailed to his shoes; he had hoped for a more intimate encounter, considering any time they spent alone together was a rarity. He would keep this secret though, despite the nagging of his heart to let her know how much these moments with her meant to him, and would mean during the upcoming months of lonely wandering without her.

"Great!" She replied, snatching the remote from a nearby coffee table and flipping to the correct channel. "It's been ages since I've seen Lorelei on one of these shows, and I'm really excited to learn about her new techniques. She's even going to give a battle demonstration to highlight them."

"She's always been a great trainer." Ash mused. "Never have I battled someone with her ability to adapt. It's like no matter what you throw at her, she can counter you flawlessly. That kind of skill is enviable." He frowned in thought at the memory of his few battles with Lorelei; he had yet to win any of them.

He opened his mouth to continue speaking, but Misty promptly shushed him. "It's her!" She hissed, pointing to the screen urgently.

Throughout the next hour, Ash spent the majority of his time admiring the girl next to him. She was so engrossed in the words of her idol that she took little notice of Ash, allowing him to watch her lovingly as she shouted, squealed, and intently stared at the screen before them. Her intensity was endearing to him, after all, it was rare to find a girl so passionate about battling. Sure, one could find breeders and coordinators everywhere, but a female trainer was a rare and attractive find. _Especially when that girl is Misty._ His smile betrayed his thoughts, but he was unconcerned with such things; it was clear that she was too immersed to notice. He loved that she was even more excited about watching a good pokémon battle than even he was, and reveled in her every comment or curse.

It was this fire she possessed, both in body and mind, that energized him, enabling him to find his own strength. He had no way to describe her except as his muse, as corny as he thought that sounded, but muse was the only word that came close to describing his relationship to her. She was more than his friend, she was his inspiration, and as he sat next to her on that couch (which now seemed a long and lonesome expanse with her so far away) he longed to tell her this more than ever.

Ash tentatively reached for his friend's slender hand, currently placed tensely on her knee, poised to strike out in a flash of anger prompted from the ongoing battle. The abrupt touch shook her from her trance and she looked into his eyes quizzically.

"M-Misty," He began timidly, gulping down the lump in his throat.

"Yes?" Her face displayed her confusion combined with a tinge of annoyance that she was missing the clash of the final two pokémon.

_Oh fuck, what am I doing?_ His heart began to beat wildly out of rhythm, unnerving him at the prospect that she might be able to hear it. He had no explanation for what he did next, he simply prayed to all the legendaries that he would not regret this later.

"Misty I want you to know that no matter what happens or how long I'm gone, I'll always come back to you." His words were fast and panicky as he stumbled to formulate sentences that wouldn't reveal too much to the girl beside him. His entire body trembled as he searched her face for clues to her feelings.

She looked at him intently, wondering if this was not some joke or attempted prank for his amusement. "Do you really mean that, Ash? That's not something you can just say without conviction."

"Misty, what is this place for you?" Seemingly, he had ignored her question, but she saw a gleam in his eye that made her relent.

"The gym? It's my home of course! I spent nearly all of my life growing up here, besides the few years I was travelling with you. It's a burden and a comfort all in one and I wouldn't give it up for anything, even if my work gets overwhelming or my sisters act immature or annoying. I can't help but feel tied to this place, and I know no matter where I go in life I'll always feel that way." She concluded wistfully. "But I don't really see what this has to do with…"

"Well," he interjected "Even though I was born and raised in Pallet, I'm a traveler at heart. I could never be so in love with a place that I'd give up my freedom to stay there. If there is one thing I can truthfully say, it's that I'll never have a place I can call home."

"That sounds very lonely to me." Misty turned her head from him, fearing the tears she knew were quickly approaching the rims of her eyelids. _He knows! He knows and he's going to tell me that we could never be together, and that I am a foolish little girl for thinking we could._

"I agree, and it would be, except that…I don't really know how to say this, but my home isn't a place, it's more like a person. Or maybe an idea inspired by a person?"

He sighed desolately, "What I mean to say is that I have this feeling when I'm with you, and it's a lot like the one you described when talking about this gym. I feel safe with you, like I can tell you anything and it wouldn't matter; you're opinion of me could never be swayed by one thing. I feel like you and I share a bond that I can't have with anyone else, not even Brock, and even though you piss me off and get me angrier more often than anyone in the world, I still get so excited at the thought of coming back to see you that I'm happy for weeks beforehand. Even when I try not to think about you while I'm travelling, I just can't seem to get you out of my head. It's like I'm connected with you in some surreal way that I can't understand enough to describe to you, and I'm happy knowing that wherever I go in life I can come back to you and be relieved of my stresses of being a "chosen one" and a pokémon trainer and relax for once!"

His outburst had left them both breathless, but for quite separate reasons. Trembling, Misty piped up the courage to ask him one of the most difficult questions she'd asked anyone in living memory, "What are you saying to me, Ash?"

_That I'm in love with you!_ His mind roared, but he wouldn't let himself say it. He knew it would be too cruel to tell her that, knowing he'd be on his way the next morning. Though he couldn't completely divulge his feelings to her, he could at least tell her a part of the truth he so longed to reveal. "That you're…or rather this feeling I get when I'm with you, that's home for me. That's why, no matter how far away or how long I travel, I'll always come back for you."

Misty now wept openly, much to the bewilderment of her friend. He had hardly ever seen her cry in his six years of knowing her, so twice in one day was frightening. Watching her made him inwardly curse himself for being such an idiot; why could he not stop hurting her?

"I'm really sorry…I hadn't meant to make you feel badly." He mumbled apologetically, barely able to make his uncooperative vocal cords function.

"You really are an idiot," She sobbed, looking him in the eyes.

He felt the lump in his throat grow larger and he pulled his hand from hers. "I guess I thought that would make you happy."

She shook her head and smiled weakly at him. "I _am_ happy, silly. Why do you think I'm acting like this?" Misty leaned over into his chest where she sniffled quietly.

He laughed out loud at the reiteration of her remark. His mind had just been pulled from utter depression to complete euphoria, and he could do nothing but smile and hold the girl in his arms ever tighter.

Eventually, the two adolescents fell asleep like that, both content to listen to the other's soft breathing and relish the warmth of their entwined bodies. In the morning they spoke little of the occurrences of the night prior, but both saw something different in the eyes of their old friend. Later, Misty would question if these things had been real or if her love-sick imagination had conjured them to torture her, and Ash would sit by the fire in some nameless woods remembering the feeling of her skin on his. But that day each was secure in their blossoming relationship, and as Ash waved goodbye to Misty for what would seem like an endless stretch of time, they were sure they would meet again.

**A/N: so this one has been done for a little while, but is in dire need of a good beta to help me make it better. I'm also currently seeking someone who might want to beta other things I'm in the process of writing. If anyone feels up to the challenge please feel free to PM me! :3**


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